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Archive for the ‘Husbands’ Category

Today I had a very interesting (if aggravating) discussion with my husband.  Before I begin, let me say that my good husband is a smart hardworking man.  Darling Hubby comes in from work most days and becomes busy with chores of one variety or another.  He doesn’t ask me a lot of questions concerning my time or the children.  Yet, everyday I fill him in on most everything he has missed.  In addition,  just like most families, we  have dinnertime discussions.  We have discussions about all kinds of things from abortion to politics.  

That is why today gave me pause.  You see, today I began to wonder if an alien has taken over my husband’s body…or at least his mind.

My good husband walks into the room holding a book.  I notice the title, “Politically Incorrect Guide to History.” Excitedly he begins to wave the book as he begins to tell me that my ideas and understanding of history are wrong.  I look up and smile.  You know, the type of smile that says you believe the person in front of you is insane.  He then proceeds to tell me about this Quaker (William Penn) and how he was a pacifist.  My smile freezes into a cold stare.  (At this point I am staring at him to see if he is a zombie or an alien.)  For the next fifteen minutes he tells me about Quakers.  He uses words like ‘them’ and ‘those people’ as he explains.  All the while he is waving this book in front of me.  Finally, I can take it no longer.  I place my book on the couch and stare at him as I softly state, “Honey, I am a Quaker and so are your children.”  Now, it is his turn to stare.  He starts to sputter in disbelief. 

I don’t get mad when he forgets I detest the color yellow, or when he forgets that I don’t like rhubarb, or even when he cooks food I’m allergic.  I don’t get mad when he yells about his lost comb that is laying in the drawer in front of him.  But this!  How did he miss this?  I’m completely at a loss.  My only explanation is that this man cannot be my husband.  My husband must have been taken by aliens and a drone placed here with me.  It’s the only explanation, because surely my husband is more observant than THAT!

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I feel like my household is lost to the modernization of today’s lifestyles.  What do I mean?  I mean we are on vacation and that between the tv, video games, laptops, microwaves, ice machines, cell phones, mp3, ipods, itouch, iphones, and more that my children do not live but merely exist.  I have long banned the use of electronics during daytime hours, but my husband allowed the tv to be on during a vacation. Welcome in electronics!    It is horrid.  The kids are sitting on the couch staring at the tv.  They might wonder off for a moment to grab a call on the cell and then wonder back as if a moth to the tv.  I told them that come Monday that the ban would be in place once again but for today, sit and drool.  DH is asleep in front of the tv.  And I am sitting in front of the tv typing on my laptop.  It is horrible how quickly we toss living for existing when we stare at the tv.

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It’s been a while

It’s been a while since I have updated this blog.  Life has been busy.  I promise to update more soon.

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I did it!  I persuaded my hubby that bird watching, canoeing, and shell searching outranked driving to Yellowstone with 4 kids.  It is a one and a half day drive compared to 30 hard hours of driving.  I am thrilled.

I will pack up the kids books on Thursday night.  Yes, we will home school while we are there.  Plus, each child will have a camera to make a “My Florida 2010 Field Trip” book.

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Yes, the title of this post is confusing.  I apologize.  But anyone who has ever planned a trip with my dear husband understands.  This trip was my darlings idea.  He ran through the house one afternoon laughing that he was taking me to West Yellowstone for my birthday.  Cool, huh?  Nope.  He wanted to take four children by car to Wyoming.  I was not amused. 

He plotted the trip and stated impressively that we could arrive in Wyoming by way of North Dakota and Montana.  I have little doubt that the neighbors heard the plates I dropped.

It was okay, he changed his mind.  He decided that we could go via Amtrack.  Oh, Cookies Dandy!  This was two trains with one of the trips being 34 hours.  Nope.  No. No way.

I suggested since it was my birthday that we could go to Atlanta, New Orleans, or Colorado.  He glared over his stacks of papers and maps. 

I stood brave and stated the obvious, “Let’s stay home.”

Glare grew and the red cheeks appeared. 

I know when I am licked.

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